


Stay By My Side

by OnceUponAGalaxyFarFarAway



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: After Scarif, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, M/M, Nightmares, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 18:38:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11236860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceUponAGalaxyFarFarAway/pseuds/OnceUponAGalaxyFarFarAway
Summary: Cassian and Bodhi both get nightmares and one night, they talk about them.For Bodhi/Cassian week, Day 1: Recovery/After Scarif





	Stay By My Side

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't go with anything directly after Scarif, because I just couldn't make it work, but I tried to fit the theme.
> 
> Not beta-read or edited very much unfortunately, because I forgot today was the first day, but I hope you enjoy!

Bodhi woke up with a soft gasp and sat up, glancing around frantically. He was back in the cell in Jedha, trapped alone, with Bor Gullet, his mind warped and messy. After a few moments the scene melted away and he found himself in his darkened room yet again. Shivering still, Bodhi wrapped his arms around himself, flinching when his prosthetic, cold and metallic, touched his skin.

When his heartbeat didn't slow down, Bodhi climbed out of bed and pulled on a jacket, heading out of the room and to one of the side doors, wanting to get some air. It was only when he glanced out the small window that he remembered that they were on Hoth now, not on Yavin IV, and that it would be far too cold to go out. It had only been a week and he was still having trouble getting used to it.

Sighing, Bodhi instead made his way to the hangar. If he couldn't get some air, at least he could work on his X-Wing and clear his mind. He couldn't help but smile to himself as he saw the ship and whispered to it as he approached.

“Hello there, beautiful.” he murmured, smoothing his hands over the hull. “Let's see what you need.” he grabbed his goggles and tugged them on before grabbing his tools and starting to work on the ship, all the while murmuring praise to her.

It was about an hour before Bodhi heard a soft chuckle that made him jump out of his skin. He spun around and pushed his goggles up to see a very tired looking Cassian, smiling wryly at him.

“Wha? Cassian?” Bodhi looked around, double checking that there wasn't anyone else around, not sure what Cassian found so funny. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Not long.” Cassian shrugged. “I came in just a moment ago, heard you talking. I thought you were with someone, actually, based on what you were saying.”

“And what exactly was I saying?” Bodhi asked, trying to act like he hadn’t just been caught talking to his ship.

“Oh, just a lot of ‘baby’ and ‘gorgeous’ and ‘beautiful’.” Cassian smiled, tilting his head. “I thought you were talking to a someone, not a something.”

Bodhi’s ears went red and he coughed. “Right, well.” he grabbed a rag and wiped his face off. “Anyways, what are you doing up early?”

Cassian’s already small smile faded from his face, replaced with his usual guarded expression. “I couldn’t sleep. What about you?”

Bodhi shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep either.” He muttered. “I was going to go outside to get some air but I kind of forgot about…” he gestured vaguely to the hangar door.

“The perpetual blizzard?” Cassian finished for him.

Nodding, Bodhi closed the panel of the X-Wing and turned to properly look at him. “Yeah.” he cleared his throat and tugged his hand through his hair. He hadn’t talked to Cassian one on one in quite some time. After Scarif, after the destruction of the Death Star, everything had been so frantic, and then Cassian had started going on missions more frequently, and Bodhi was named Rogue Leader and was running his own missions, and there was no time to talk. There was the occasional group conversation in the mess hall, but even then, Cassian wasn’t one to contribute much.

“Well, I guess, if we’re not going to be getting any sleep any time, wanna sit down?” Cassian gestured to the floor before moving to sit down.

Bodhi shrugged and moved to join him, sitting beside him.

They sat in silence for a moment or two before Cassian looked over at Bodhi. “If you don’t mind my asking, why couldn’t you sleep?”

Bodhi thought for a moment. “If I tell you, will you tell me why you couldn't sleep?”

Cassian tilted his head, considering it for a moment. “Alright, sure. That seems fair.”

Nodding, Bodhi decided to tell him. “I had a nightmare. I was back on Jedha, in Saw Gerrara's cell.” he shuddered.

Cassian frowned and nodded slowly. He still remembered what Bodhi looked like when they first found him, haunted and empty. The thought of it made him sick.

After a few moments of staring out into space, Bodhi turned to Cassian once more. “What about you?”

This time it was Cassian's turn to look away, humming softly. “Same as you. Nightmare. We were on Scarif, but we didn't make it out, not that time.”

Bodhi frowned at that and, after a moment's hesitation, reached out to rest a hand on his shoulder, only to pull it back when Cassian flinched. “S-Sorry, I'm sorry.” he managed.

Cassian just shook his head. “It's fine, just warn me next time?”

Bodhi was quick to nod. “Yeah, of course, I'm sorry. I should have known.” He shook his head. “But, we made it out okay. And… well, I know Kay didn't, but you've got his programming, right? So, I mean, we've all survived, technically.”

Cassian turned to him, managing a small smile. “Yeah, we did.” After a moment he tilted his head slightly. “Can I… can I touch you?”

Bodhi nodded after a moment, closing his eyes slowly as Cassian rested his hand on Bodhi's back. It was so easy to melt into his touch that before he even realized it, he had leaned into Cassian, pressed against his side.  Cassian had stiffened slightly and Bodhi froze and quickly moved back. “Sorry, I’m sorry.” he muttered, pausing when Cassian shook his head.

“No, it’s okay, Bodhi. It’s fine.” Cassian whispered, almost too soft to be heard. “It’s fine.”

Bodhi stared at him for a moment before slowly leaning back against Cassian, as light as possible should he need to pull back. Instead of going stiff this time, Cassian instead slid his arm around Bodhi’s waist, holding him closer.

Cassian smelled good. He smelled vaguely earthy, not in a gross way, but in a homely way. Something you’d want to go home to, breathe that smell in for as long as possible. Although those weren’t thoughts suitable for a war. There was barely any chance that they would make it through tomorrow, let alone have something, or someone to come home to. Cassian’s job was dangerous, easily more so than Bodhi’s, and Bodhi didn’t want to delude himself with some impossible ideal.

And yet, sitting here, in the middle of the hangar, Bodhi could picture it, clear as day. He and Cassian, after the war. Maybe they wouldn’t be fully healed, hell, maybe they would never be fully healed, but it would be alright. They would be together in this little fantasy of his. They would live small house, hopefully. Somewhere quiet, and green, where they could rest. Maybe they could live near Jyn, and Chirrut and Baze. They could enjoy a peaceful, easy life, free from the Empire, free from the pain and suffering of war. And that smell would still be there, the distinctly Cassian smell, and Bodhi would be able to press his nose to Cassian’s chest, to his hair, and breath it in, let it surround him, just like it was surrounding him now. They would be at peace, finally.

“Bodhi? Bo, wake up.” Bodhi blinked his eyes open and looked around and up at Cassian, who was smiling. “You fell asleep. I didn't want to wake you, but I can't imagine the floor is very comfortable.”

Bodhi shook his head and sat up properly, rubbing his eyes. “No, not really.” He yawned.

Cassian stood and helped Bodhi up, walking with him back to his room. When they reached his room, Bodhi suddenly turned to Cassian, furrowing his brow.

“You… you called me ‘Bo’. Earlier.” He hadn’t been called Bo in ages, not since he was a teenager and now that his brain had caught up with himself, he couldn’t even imagine why Cassian called him that.

Cassian coughed. “Um. Yeah, I did. Sorry, it just sort of slipped out.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind.” Bodhi said before he even realized that no, he didn’t mind at all. In fact, he liked Cassian calling him that. It made him feel warm inside. He smiled softly and tucked some loose hair behind his ear. “I don't mind at all.”

Cassian tilted his head slightly and smiled back. “Okay, well… goodnight, Bo.”

Bodhi's breath caught and his smile only grew. “Goodnight, C-Cass?” He murmured hesitantly

The other man smiled and nodded just slightly. Bodhi relaxed and for a moment they simply looked at each other.  It was Cassian who broke eye contact first, nodding his head towards the door. “I'll let you get to bed, then.” Bodhi nodded and unlocked the door, moving to head inside. He stopped though, when Cassian reached out and touched his shoulder. “Thank you for, um, sitting with me.”

Bodhi smiled to himself, feeling warmth rush through him at the fact that he had seen a much different version of Cassian than the one that the Rebellion saw. He had seen him warm, and vulnerable. Sweet, even. Maybe it was the lack of sleep. “You're welcome, Cass. Get some sleep.”

“I will, Bo. You too.” The two exchanged one last smile before Bodhi went inside.

Once the door was shut, Bodhi allowed a massive grin to overcome his features, one that didn't fade away as he climbed back into bed.


End file.
